Grandma, I miss you..

This post is different from my usual upbeat posts but as I sit here, 4 years to the day since you left us, I just wanted to express how much I miss you..

I find that little things I do or see, remind me so much of you and I feel like that is because you still live on in all of us. When you’re young, you feel like your grandparents are always going to be there and that really, they’re just going to be old forever, but never actually leave. Yes, I have also had other grandparents depart and of course I miss them dearly, but there is just something about my grandma that still hits me hard, even 4 years later.

My grandma was a strong and independent woman, she was strong minded and didn’t have a problem voicing her opinions, even when it was probably best to keep quiet but she didn’t mind. She originally came from Czechoslovakia and came to the UK when she was 18 years old to continue her career in nursing. Here she met my grandad, got married and eventually had 3 sons. So, to do all that and not speak a word of English, shows what a little firecracker she was.

“Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.”

– Unknown

When I was 18, I wanted to go back to college in the UK, to learn and qualify to become a nursery nurse. I love working with children so I just knew that I wanted to do it as my trade. My grandma kindly let me stay at her house for the whole year that I was there studying. Now i’m not gonna lie, this was not plain sailing! I believe our age differences clashed, she was stuck in her ways and I was stuck in mine. As well as our personalities being very similar, this added more fuel to the fire. There was lots of good times and the odd spat, but now i’m truly grateful that I got that time with her, it was a year of our lives where it was just me and her and that is probably why I miss her the most.

It’s like when we knew she was getting really sick, I HAD to fly back and see her and say my final goodbye before she went and even for her funeral, I HAD to be there with our family, saying our final farewell. If I would’ve missed it, I would have regretted it forever.

I honestly never knew I would miss her this much. Every time that I see something or hear something of hers or that reminds me of her, I just break down. Whether it’s an old birthday card, an old Facebook comment that has come up on my memories.. anything. The other day I was watching the TV series ‘Afterlife’ and they read the poem that my grandma had chosen for her funeral and I just burst into tears without even realising!

Do not stand

By my grave, and weep.

I am not there,

I do not sleep—

I am the thousand winds that blow

I am the diamond glints in snow

I am the sunlight on ripened grain,

I am the gentle, autumn rain.

As you awake with morning’s hush,

I am the swift, up-flinging rush

Of quiet birds in circling flight,

I am the day transcending night.

Do not stand

By my grave, and cry—

I am not there,

I did not die.

Before she went, she asked all of her grandchildren to pick some of her jewellery to keep. I chose a stunning sapphire ring which I immediately fell in love with, as well as her beautiful gold locket which she always used to wear. She had also given me another ring a few years before as I had lost my engagement ring, so she gave me a lovely gold band with a nice diamond and it fitted me perfectly and I used that from then on as my engagement ring (even when I eventually found my other!) Then came the worst day of my life, I was in the office of my old job and I was robbed at knife point. The robber demanded all of my jewellery and along with it went my engagement ring, wedding ring and of course my grandma’s stunning sapphire ring, that’s the one that hurt the most. I know the robber was just looking for financial gain but that had so much sentimental value to me and was absolutely irreplaceable. I was devastated as well as traumatised. I was just grateful that I didn’t have her locket on my person at that moment in time, or it would have all gone.

After that incident, I was scared to wear the locket, as I wanted nothing to happen to it. It is only recently when I was looking for something and came across it again that I thought, why don’t I wear it?! I’m pretty sure my grandma didn’t want it shoved in a jewellery box, never to see the light of day again and so i’ve started to wear it, it’s like i’m taking a piece of her with me everywhere I go.

“Why does it take a minute to say hello and forever to say goodbye?”

– Unknown

My grandma was also a huge fan of crystals and had a huge collection. She also used to put crystals behind photo frames of certain family members to give them luck, or to fight away any problems they were having. Now, I have a photo of her in my house and have put a crystal behind the frame, yes I know it won’t bring her back but I still believe in it. I also have a pendant one attached to her locket which I found and so now it helps me through too.

I think this blog post has been a long time coming, to help me put it into words how I feel and to help me carry on. I know you’re still here, there’s a part of you in everything I do and that you’re looking down and smiling. Wherever you are, I just want you to know, that I love you and miss you so so much and even though you’re gone, you’re definitely not forgotten.. ♡

Date night!

Date night! Can you believe it? Because I bloody can’t!! So next week we’re going to be having a date night as Mia is having a sleepover at her friends house…eek!

I can’t tell you the last time that we went out together, I’m pretty sure it was in summer but that is about 8 months ago now. I do aim to do them more, but time just passes by because you’re both too busy and then before you know it, it’s been months!

I honestly do feel that these date nights are very important to any relationship/marriage. They are healthy as you get to spend time together peacefully, without having to worry about anything or anyone else and just enjoy the moment.

Also it doesn’t mean you have to be wined and dined, everyone’s got different tastes. Occasionally, we like to just get a takeaway and chill out with something good on Netflix. What matters the most, no matter what you do, is that you just take that moment and ask each other how they are or how their day was, you’ll find it means a lot to them.

Likewise, if you’re parents, then you just need that little reminder of who you were before those little people came along! When you’re a parent, you find that you have even less time for each other, nor do you make the effort as much as you used to. That’s why it’s important to try and rekindle that magic that got you to where you are today.

We lose ourselves along the way and there’s nothing better to boost your confidence than, getting glammed up and looking good. This makes you feel fantastic about yourself and then that also rubs off on everyone else.

I don’t know what we’ve got planned, knowing us it’ll all be left until the last minute, where we can’t get a reservation and then we’ll end up in a kebab shop! Either way, we’ll have a great time and I can’t flipping wait! 💗

Mia turns 8!

Now I have finally been able to sit down and rest after last week’s celebrations, I can finally do the post that I had set out to do. My daughter is now 8! I honestly can’t believe it. It really is a blink and you miss it moment, you start to question ‘where the heck have those years gone?!’

I mean, I think I started this blog when she had just turned 2 or even younger. That seems like a million years ago now. These past 8 years have been the absolute best in all of my lifetime and the exciting part is, that there are plenty more to come!

She is an amazing young girl and i’m so proud of her everyday and the fantastic human she is becoming! She doesn’t half make me giggle and don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of screaming matches! Like the key to every successful relationship, you will have more than enough ups and downs.

Mia is Encanto obsessed at the moment, so her cakes (and cupcakes) were dedicated to Encanto. It was a nightmare to try and find Encanto toys and things anywhere to buy her for her birthday, all I could find was 2 dolls from the Disney store, everywhere had sold out! I must admit, I do love it too!

On her actual birthday, we just went bowling with the family and for some food. Originally, she wanted to go to the cinema but there wasn’t anything on that we wanted to watch and therefore opted for bowling which is equally as fun – if not better!

On Saturday (the day after her birthday) she had her first ever McDonald’s birthday party! I had a few when I was younger and I thought they were the best! They gave you a tour of McDonald’s, who doesn’t want to know what goes on back there! Well as a kid it was exciting, now i’m not so sure!

All of her friends from school and other places came to play, with all different nationalities too! The staff do everything for you like face painting, games etc. As you can see Mia thinks she’s now a little too cool for face painting and just had a heart! Even her lunch teacher turned up as we ‘invited her’ but I mentioned to Mia not to be upset because teacher’s can’t always come to birthday parties (because they never usually do) and she actually turned up! All the kids flocked to her and she gave the impression of Miss Honey from Matilda. She was lovely and I offered to get her a drink but she was fine, bless her.

Mia had a fabulous birthday weekend with all her friends and family and got spoilt rotten! People always say to me, when are you having another baby? The usual social pressure and now I also understand why many families choose to have the one child as i’m really enjoying Mia and watch her grow. I know she would make an amazing big sister and hopefully one day she may get that opportunity but for now, we’re just doing us!

“To our lovely 8 year old, carry on being an amazing, bright and hilarious little you! We’re so proud of you but if you could also stop growing so quickly, we would also appreciate it. Never let anyone dull your sparkle! We love you to the moon and back, love from, Mummy, Daddy, Tigger & Toby (the cats) and Honey (the hamster) xXx”

Happy international women’s day!

Happy international women’s day to all of you amazing and inspiring women out there! You are all unique in your own little way and are more valuable than the most precious diamond in the world!

‘May we know them, may we be them, may we raise them!’

– Anon

Sometimes you can lose sight of how strong you are or can be, but rest assured all of us ladies have a little fire inside that once ignited, can make fireworks!

Look how far we have come already and we still have a long way to go, but the journey to equality shows how amazing we really are and how strong our power is.

“A woman is like a tea bag. You never know how strong it is until it’s in hot water.”

– Eleanor Roosevelt

So keep being beautiful and the fabulous mother/wife/girlfriend/friend/ or even just you, that you are! You’re smashing it!!! 💖

Finally doing my dream job..

And it’s all thanks to those beautiful pink headphones that I invested in over a year ago! They seem to be my trademark now, everyone knows me for having the bright pink headphones and I love it!

I also can’t forget to say a huge thank you to my partner in crime, the best colleague I could ask for…. this guy……….

Yes.. COOKIE MONSTER! He has been a rock and helped me on my journey so much 😂 obviously I have to say some thanks to my friends and family – I suppose! Joking of course! But I am much rather known as the pink headphone wearing, cookie monster sidekick teacher!

I am EXACTLY that! My dream job is a teacher, but i’m not just any teacher, i’m an English teacher and the best part is that I get to teach to lots and lots of cute and lovely children from all over the world!

Since the ‘glorious‘ pandemic forced us all to be stuck at home and working online, I found a new passion that I wanted to explore. I’d always wanted to teach children and I am a nursery nurse by trade but how could I do it?

A few of my friends and acquaintances had also started teaching throughout the pandemic and I also wanted to join. A friend recommended me to do either my TEFL or TESOL certificate, these are teaching certificates which are required to either Teach English as a Foreign Language or Teach English to Speakers of Other Languages and I therefore found a course online and completed my TESOL certificate in a matter of days (I was that eager!)

This being said, I was on furlough from my job as an estate agent and therefore couldn’t commit to the teaching fully. I found a platform which is based in China and it seemed ideal for me. I was so excited and very eager that I bought props, made a background for my ‘classroom‘, got a reward chart who is my cookie monster. The rewards work so when the child has successfully achieved something, I have some laminated cookies with velcro on the back which we then stick to the velcro inside of cookie monster’s mouth!

As soon as I had everything prepared and ready to go, I needed to find a suitable time and day to book my interview. The interview is basically like a demo class, where you have to pretend you’re teaching a student but it’s really just a photo of a child and you have to act like they’re answering your questions etc. then this is later gone through and you find out if you made the cut. So like I say, I was all ready and raring to go…………until I got the call to come back to work part time! Which of course, I couldn’t say no to as the pandemic had been hard on everyone and needs must!

I know you’re thinking that part time is still doable and maybe I could still juggle it with the teaching, then i’m afraid not! Due to the time difference in China, they’re approximately 7-8 hours ahead of us here in Europe, meaning the cut off time for the last classes they take is approximately 4pm here. I wasn’t getting in from work until 3pm, meaning I could do 2 classes a day but that’s not what I wanted. I wanted to put my all and everything into this, I felt so passionately about it, that it was literally all or nothing!

I put it on the back burner for the time being but still kept my profile active and liked things I needed to like, did the training courses, I didn’t want it to fade out. Over the next few months, things started to change at work, I wasn’t happy anymore, I didn’t have the same umph that I used to have when going to work and because I had the need for teaching still in the back of my mind, it made it hard to change my mindset.

Then came the time to weigh up all of the pros and cons. I discussed it with Craig, my family and close friends to if I should actually take the plunge and risk it all, to quit my job and become a full time teacher. And so I did! Life is far too short and if you’re not happy then something definitely needs to change!

I understood that we may be without the same money we used to have per month, because the job I left was stable and secure and I would be losing that to chase my dream, but was it worth missing out on my dream job for that?! If it didn’t work out, then there will always be more jobs. That’s what you do in life, you have to just roll with it.

Before I completely threw everything away, I booked my interview/demo class in for a day after work and I prepared and practiced the whole week before as I didn’t want to close the chapter on this! I was so nervous doing it but because I had practiced so hard, it seemed to have come more natural which I hoped would be better.

Once the 25 minutes were up, that was it – all done and dusted! Now came what felt like the longest wait ever!! I did my interview on a Friday so you have to officially wait 2-3 working days. I made it worse for myself by doing it on a Friday because then it added 2 extra days waiting time onto my wait, as if it wasn’t bad enough!

The result finally came, I had passed! I was elated, ecstatic, over the flipping moon basically! I then handed my notice in at work, it wasn’t easy. I was with the company for 6 years and had made some really good friends so it was tough but luckily they could see how much I wanted it and were as equally happy for me.

I decided to open my timetable/slots for when I returned from a short family break we had with friends. When I opened, I was booked straight away, the classes were so much fun and the kids were so cute! It was great for the first week or two, then it started to die out. Bookings were less and less everyday, I made sure I was available for any last minute pop up classes that another teacher might not have been able to attend. I finished all the training that the company had offered, I promoted myself reading stories and redid my intro video, basically everything I could possibly think of – NOTHING WORKED!

I started to feel regret and I was so upset, did I really just risk it all and it’s completely gone down the toilet?! Then the rules changed regarding the Chinese government and foreign teachers teaching in China, which meant for the company to go offline for a few weeks. No one knew anything, when it would come back or even IF it would come back! That’s when I knew I had to find alternatives and fast! Luckily, it didn’t work with the Chinese company and I didn’t have a lot of regulars that I had to leave behind.

One of my other teaching friends suggested the company Cambly. Cambly has 2 platforms, the generic Cambly one which is mainly for free talking with adults, although you can get some children on here but it is mainly based on free talk. Then there is the Cambly Kids platform which is only for children, this has structured slides developed for the child’s level and helps them to go through all of the different stages covering all different types of material.

I applied for both and was accepted on the main Cambly platform overnight. For Cambly Kids, it took a good few months and I had to do my intro video again. However, I got there in the end and was eventually accepted on the kids platform. I have met a huge amount of different people, of all different ages, different cultures and of course, different countries. Speaking of countries, they can range from China, Taiwan, Japan, South Korea, Saudi Arabia, Turkey, Brazil… to name a few!

With Cambly, i’m not restricted and limited to times like with the previous platform because this is worlwide! When one half of the world is going to bed, the other half is waking up! If you really didn’t have any commitments, you could work all night and day!

Sorry to have droned on a bit, but to summarise all of the above, I flipping love my new job! 💕

Please follow my journey via my Facebook page and if you have any questions, then please ask away!

https://www.facebook.com/myesljourney

The day I said ‘I do’…

“A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.”

– Dave Meurer

Like I said before, alot has changed since we last spoke, I ‘recently’ (ok, it was 5 years ago!) got married! Yes – someone actually wants to put up with me for the rest of their life! Mind you, the compromise is that i’ve got to put up with them for the rest of my life too, but that’s marriage for ya’

I’ve dreamt of this moment ever since I was a little girl, as i’m sure does everyone, to have that fairytale wedding. The day went smoothly and I wouldn’t change a thing about it. My bridesmaids looked absolutely stunning as you can see below. They included my little (but smaller than me) sister, my sister in law and my 2 best friends.

Bridesmaids tired already whilst we’re waiting for the green light to go down the aisle

I still can’t believe it was 5 years ago already, the time passes by so quickly. My dress wasn’t from some posh bridal boutique that cost a small fortune, it was custom made (and alot cheaper) to how I had seen and tried the style of certain dresses. Therefore I took my favourite part of all the dresses that I had tried and made my own.

Mia looking on as I got ready for my big day

Craig was waiting at the venue for us. We selected the venue because it was the place where we met and where it all started, also it is a lovely setting and we know the owners well and were able to ask for the HUGE favour of being able to get married there. The pulled out all the stops for us and made us and all our guests feel at home. Anyway back to Craig, I can’t imagine how he was feeling waiting at the venue and greeting everyone as they arrived. Obviously as more and more people started arriving, I think reality kicked in and he knew that soon would be the time and if he wanted to run – now was the time to do it!

Craig putting on a brave face when his head and his stomach are doing flips

He’ll hate me for admitting this but Craig did get a little emotional during the ceremony, bless him, as horrible as it sounds though, it was nice to see and it made me emotional too. First down the aisle was my little sister with Mia, I wanted them to go first because before myself, they were the stars of the show!

Now, it was time for the grand entrance!! Myself and my dad came in on his pride and joy……his vespa! Yes, my dad is vespa mad and has his own scooter club (similar to what I can imagine The Hell’s Angels started out like!) You gotta love him!

“Behind every great daughter is a truly amazing dad.”

– Unknown

My daddy walking me down the aisle

I won’t put every single photo on as i’ll be here all day! The next photo is of the newlyweds and you guessed it, my dad’s vespa!

The newlyweds

Oh gosh, I nearly forgot the most important part of the whole day – THE CAKE!! It was made by my sister in law Zoe, who did a fantastic job and it was absolutely stunning! I wish I had gotten to eat more of it but I was too busy chatting and mingling. Here you have proof of her great work…

JUST LOOK AT IT!

Aaaand well th….thaa..that’s all folks! I know I have probably left alot of details and stories out but it was just an absolutely fantastic day and so much to cram in! So all in all, what’s the secret to a happy marriage?

Lots of love, the newl(old)yweds xXx

Start as you mean to go on!

IKEAAAA!

Guess where i’m going today….??? IKEAAA! Now come on, who doesn’t love a good Ikea shopping trip, because I flipping do!

There’s no greater feeling than stepping through those big blue revolving doors and smelling those MDF flatpacks! First stop is definitely to get some of the yummy meatballs, which are an absolute MUST! Aswell as the Daim cheesecake which is a little slice of heaven ❤ What is your MUST HAVE food when you visit?

Then with my tummy filled it’s onto the BIG ADVENTURE! I have looked at things online and also wrote down a list of things that I need to get, but I can promise you that will all go completely out of the window once I walk through those doors!

I ALWAYS NEED TO BUY TEALIGHTS when i’m there, who doesn’t?! What are the things you always buy, everytime you happen to be in there?

Also I think it’s only right to take a few complimentary mini pencils 😉

Check out our fancy new look!

Don’t we look snazzy! Yes, I know I’ve given the blog a revamp before, but that was when I had just started it and now I’ve had it a while, I feel like it needed a bit of freshening up!

Change is good. I’m a little bit older now from when I first started, as is my daughter Mia. Therefore, I feel like I want to give the blog a fresh new approach and definitely a more classier one!

I won’t be as beautified now, because I rarely wear make up anymore! I used to wear it everyday for work and now I only wear it for going out where I like to glam up, but to be honest, I’m not bothered now if people see me without make up on! Likewise, for my new job it’s not a requirement!

Keep up to date for all my recent ongoings through motherhood, wifehood (think I just made that one up!) and well everyday life. It could be interesting or it could be boring, who knows?!

All I know is it’ll either be a giggle or something to leave you pondering…

Have a great day ❤️

Valentine’s day, is it really worth it?

Why are we so divided when it comes to this special day? Half of us go all soppy and declare how much we love our other halves, yet the rest say that this day is too commercialised and believe it’s all a day for the card companies to make some extra money?!

So which side are you on?

Personally, I don’t believe in Valentine’s and do think it is a bit of a farce, but is that because I didn’t get anything that i’m feeling bitter?!

I really can’t sum it up. I feel like why do you have to love someone like crazy on this one special day, when you can love them everyday that way? I prefer to celebrate anniversaries more because that day is about you two and no one else.. right?

So why do I still feel like the green eyed monster, when I see all the posts on socials of everyone being truly spoilt on all of the socials?! Even when I have strictly mentioned to hubby that I don’t want anything because I don’t believe in it! You know what men are like too, they don’t tend to think outside the box, when you say you don’t want anything, they take it very literally and get you absolutely nothing! 😂

Either way, I celebrate it as love day and wish all of my nearest and dearest who I love dearly, a Happy Love Day 💕and I wish nothing but the best for them!

Enjoy your day/evening no matter what you choose to do! For me personally, I believe it will be a takeaway and a binge watch of our favourite series – The Handmaid’s Tale. We’re only on series 2, so no spoilers please!

I know i’ve said it before but i’m….BACK!!

She’s back!

Wheeeereee do I begin?! I have been awol for so long that i’ve missed doing my blog so much and time just got the better of me! It’s a blink and you miss it moment, as when I look back on my old posts, Mia was just turning 2 and now soon she will be 8 years old and that is flipping scary!

So much has changed in the past few years, Mia’s many phases of growing up, I became a wife, I now have my dream job… plus so much more!

Keep your eyes peeled and watch this space, as I update you day by day! Love to all xXx